Are you a Seenager?
I just discovered my age group, I am a Seenager [senior teenager!] I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 60 years later.
I don’t have to go to school or work. I get an allowance every month. I have my own pad. I don’t have a curfew. I have a drivers licence and my own car. I have ID that gets me into bars and the wine store. I like the wine store best. The people I hang around with are not scared of getting pregnant, they aren’t scared of anything, they have been blessed to live this long, why be scared? And I don’t have acne. Life is good!!
And there’s more. Brains of older people are slow because they know so much. People do not decline mentally with age; it just takes them longer to recall facts because they have more information in their brains.
Scientists believe this also makes you hard of hearing as it puts pressure on your inner ear! Also, older people often go to another room to get something and when they get there they stand wondering what they came in for. Its NOT a memory problem; its natures way of making older people do more exercise!
Lets face it – English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger, neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins were not invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are sweets containing no meat, while sweetbreads, which are not sweet, are meat!
We take English for granted but if we explore its paradoxes we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig!
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down. In which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which an alarm goes off by going on!!